英语求助

Mojito.

最近在备考一个考试，有英文作文，所以最近一直在练习英文，国内读到初三，基本都忘记了。最近在恶补。
下面是我一篇作文，希望懂的能给我改改语法，万分感谢。别笑话我。。。我的英文水平也就这样了。
顺便问下，这样的作文写出来10分，能及格不。。。

题目 WRITE A SHORT COMPOSITION ABOUT A FILM YOU HAVE RECENTLY SEEN.

(60 WORDS AT LEAST)

Mama（瞎编的，写不出优美的句子）
Mama is a film about the love of the mother. It describe one mother leave her son when he was samll, because the family is so por, she is beautiful, must be marry with another rich men to help this poor family. when her son grown up, cann't understand why his mother abandoned this, and married  with another rich, he think about she's a women peacockish. He is very hate her. Finally when he know that, she mother has died for traffic accident. He was very said and regret.
The film tell us. Sometimes we should know. The love of the mother is pure and bigness.
打字累死了。

Cati

试着给你改了一下，但是如楼上几位所说，你需要多学一些基础语法。在一篇很短的文章里不停重复不太好看。我修改的时候尽量没有改变你的愿意，但是你可以改掉几个重复频率比较高的词。

Mama is a film about a mother’s love. It describes a story about a mother and her son. This mother left her son when he was small. They were very poor and she was beautiful, so she should marry a rich man to help her family. When her son grew up, he couldn’t understand why she abandoned him to get married to someone. He thought that she was a vain woman and he hated her very much. Finally when he found out the whole story her mother had died in a traffic accident. He was very sad and regretted.  This film tells us that a mother’s love is pure and big.  

注意正式书写的时候，电影名字用斜体写出来。

糟糕先生

有些很中式- -  有些缺乏主语 有些第三人称没变位

Mojito.

糟糕先生 发表于 2013-5-13 23:18

                               
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有些很中式- -  有些缺乏主语 有些第三人称没变位

我知道可能数不胜数了。。。

答案

LZ还是先学点基本的语法吧，比方说第三人称后面动词是要加S的，还有一些简单的时态。

糟糕先生

Mojito. 发表于 2013-5-13 23:26

                               
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我知道可能数不胜数了。。。

去报个补习班吧....虽然不想打击你- - 不过通篇基本都有问题亲... 虽然我看懂了你想说什么0 0

Felipe1989

先学点语法吧 错误太多了 都不好改了

Mojito.

糟糕先生 发表于 2013-5-13 23:27

                               
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去报个补习班吧....虽然不想打击你- - 不过通篇基本都有问题亲... 虽然我看懂了你想说什么0 0 ...

Mojito.

Cati 发表于 2013-5-13 23:14

                               
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试着给你改了一下，但是如楼上几位所说，你需要多学一些基础语法。在一篇很短的文章里不停重复不太好看。我 ...

谢谢。

Mojito.

答案 发表于 2013-5-13 23:26

                               
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LZ还是先学点基本的语法吧，比方说第三人称后面动词是要加S的，还有一些简单的时态。 ...

，都有在看.就是到了用的时候，就会忘光。

Mojito.

糟糕先生 发表于 2013-5-13 23:27

                               
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去报个补习班吧....虽然不想打击你- - 不过通篇基本都有问题亲... 虽然我看懂了你想说什么0 0 ...

木有时间了。。。还有半个月。